THE NORTH RIDING PROJECT

Being born again is the worst thing that could possibly ever happen to you in the whole world, except getting cancer or going to borstal.  Some of the things you have to stop doing if you get born again are smoking fags, looking at Razzles, and nicking Star Turns from the freezer section of the Kwik Save.  You have to go to church and help out at Blue Peter Bring-and-Buy sales.  You have to be nice to people even if you hate them.  You can’t help being born again.  It just happens, like you’re walking along and a bolt of lightning suddenly hits you.

Dukes of Fryup/unpub