“West Mersea police announced tonight that they wish to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly knickers, but the Chief Constable said they must wear their normal uniforms.”
“We’ve just heard that in the English Channel, a ship carrying red paint has collided with a ship carrying purple paint. It is believed that both crews have been marooned.”
“A cement mixer has collided with a prison van on the Kingston bypass. Motorists are told to be on the lookout for sixteen hardened criminals.”
“In a drive to improve standards in service and hygiene, a West End hotel today dismissed a waiter for having his thumb in the soup. They also dismissed a topless waitress for two similar offences.”
Two Ronnies/BBC
THE NORTH RIDING PROJECT 
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